Kwon’s Residence,

“She left.” Yuri put her phone down on the table and sat on the chair. Her girlfriend, Jessica was sitting on the couch, lost in her thoughts. “Should I tell Tiffany?”

Jessica leaned against the couch and shook her head. “I don’t know. I don’t know what we should and shouldn’t do anymore…she is…can it get worse?” She asked. Her eyes were getting teary at the thought of her best friend.

Yuri joined her girlfriend on the couch and embraced her. “It will get better. I’m sure of it.” She consoled Jessica. “All we can do now is to be there for her, okay? We have to be strong.”

She felt Jessica nodded against her chest and smiled, although it wasn’t a happy smile. Taeyeon left and they had to pick up the broken pieces of Tiffany’s heart. Yuri was positive things would get better eventually, but it didn’t change the fact that her two best friends were in a horrible place and she didn’t know when they would come back happily.

“I think she knows…”

“Hum?”

“Tiffany, she knows Taeyeon left.”

“I know but-”

“Don’t tell her. Not now. It would just confirm what she already knows and it will hurt her.”

“I won’t tell her then. I’ll tell her when Taeyeon lands safely in Los Angeles since I know she will be worried.”

“She shouldn’t…” Jessica said bitterly. “Taeyeon doesn’t deserve it…”

“Jessica…”

“I know she is your best friend but…I really hate her right now.” Jessica pulled back and stared into her girlfriend’s eyes. “Why did she do this?”

During all these years, Yuri proudly claimed that Kim Taeyeon was her best friend and nobody on this planet knew her better than she did. A look, a smile, a nod or a wink was enough for the two childhood friends to understand each other. They were like sisters, maybe even closer than real sisters, but unfortunately, as much as she tried to, she couldn’t understand Taeyeon’s latest behavior.

Did she hate her friend? No, hate was a strong word. But she was disappointed. She was angry. She was hurt.

They were so close and yet, Taeyeon didn’t talk to her about such a big and important decision. It was like years and years of trust vanished in an instant.

“I’m sorry.” Yuri apologized. A part of her wanted to defend her friend but there was nothing to say.

“And now you apologize for her.” Jessica caressed her girlfriend’s cheek softly before placing a kiss on her lips. “I’ll go see Tiffany.” She pulled away and got off the couch. “Can I stay here tonight? I want to keep an eye on her.”

“Of course.” Yuri also got off the couch and followed Jessica outside. “I’ll be in the kitchen. I think it will be better if Tiffany stays here for the time being so I’ll talk about it with my parents.”

Jessica nodded and kissed Yuri before walking toward the guest room where her friend was resting.

*Knock Knock Knock*

No response. “Tiffany? I’m coming in.” Jessica opened the door slowly. The room was dark and quiet. Slipping inside, Jessica could see the lying figure on the bed but it was too dark to see whether her friend was sleeping or not.

“Tiffany?” Jessica called softly as she walked toward the bed. “Are you asleep?” She asked but as she reached the bed, the answer was clear.

Lying on the bed and facing the wall, Tiffany was quietly crying. There was no sound but by the way her shoulders were shaking, Jessica could tell her friend was crying. She sat on the edge of the bed and stroked her friend’s hair gently. “It’s going to be okay Fany-ah. Trust me. It will be okay.” Jessica said, trying to hold back her own tears.

She didn’t know if things would be better. Yuri believed it but she wasn’t as positive and trustful as her girlfriend. But what else could she do? Although she didn’t believe in her words, she had to try and comfort her friend. Maybe it would get better. It had to. Tiffany deserved it.

Jessica rested her head against the wall and continued to stroke Tiffany’s hair, comforting her. After a while, Tiffany’s body calmed down and Jessica assumed she had fallen asleep. She pulled the cover over her friend’s body and left the room quietly.

*******

Yuri walked into the living room where her parents were and sat down on the armchair. “Mom, dad, I have something to ask you.” She spoke up.

“Ah Yuri, we also want to talk to you.” Her mother said.

“Oh really? What is it?”

“You go first.”

“I was thinking, it might be better if Tiffany stay with us for the time being. I don’t want her to go back to the apartment and stay there by herself.”

Her mother smiled and nodded her head in approval. “That’s what we want to talk to you about. I also want her to stay there until things are resolved. We have to take care of her.”

“Yes. There is enough room in the house anyway. It’s not the right time for her to be left alone at the apartment.” Her father added.

Yuri smiled at her parents’ thoughtfulness. She was glad they felt the same way as her. “Great. I will tell her tomorrow even though I doubt it would make her feel better…” She stated sadly.

“How is she?”

“I don’t know. Jessica went to check on her. I guess, I hope she is sleeping.”

“Poor girl. It broke my heart seeing her cry.”

“Me too mom…”

“What about Taeyeon?”

“She texted me earlier and told me she landed safely in Los Angeles.”

“Don’t be too harsh on her Yuri-ah.” Mrs. Kwon looked at her daughter lovingly. She knew how her daughter felt and the last thing she wanted was the two childhood friends to drift apart. “It must not be easy for Taeyeon too.”

“I’m trying to understand her you know, but it is very hard.”

“Everything happens for a reason and I’m sure Taeyeonnie has hers. We have to be patient to find them out.”

“I talked to her father earlier. He and her mother didn’t know as well. It’s safe to say they are quite…shocked.”

“She had never acted with their approval anyway. I’m not surprised she didn’t tell them.”

“The only thing you can do now is to be there for Tiffany and wait until Taeyeon comes back. There is not much we can do for both of them.”

“I know.”

“Anyway, it’s late. You should go rest as well. Tomorrow will be a better day.” Mrs. Kwon stood up and gave her daughter a hug. “Is Jessica staying here tonight?”

“Yes. She wants to keep an eye on Tiffany too.”

“Good. You two go rest then. Tell her I say goodnight.” Yuri stood up and gave her mother a kiss on the cheek before leaving the living room.

Los Angeles,

Taeyeon’s POV

I couldn’t remember the last time I had fallen asleep. It was a long flight and I was exhausted but I couldn’t fall asleep. Whenever I closed my eyes, Tiffany’s face and her tears would appear and the pain in my heart was too strong to ignore.

I dropped my bag on the floor and went into the bathroom. I turned on the cold water and splash it on my face. It was icy cold but it made me feel alive.

Lying on the bed, I turned on the TV so the silence around me wouldn’t eat me up. I was physically and mentally exhausted even though I did nothing but sat on a plane for hours.

Sunye’s parents offered me to stay with them at their house but I refused. Sunye was already admitted in the hospital and since I was there to give her my support, there was no need for me to stay at their house. I rented a room in a hotel close to the hospital instead. It was more practical this way since I had no plans to visit nor stroll around the city anyway.

The surgery was schedule for the next day. Her parents asked me to be present before the surgery and I thought it was evident since I came all the way there.

I took out my phone and checked my messages. All of them were from my parents. Yuri replied to my messages but her answers were short and straight to the point. I knew she was angry with me and although I wanted to apologize, I just felt it wasn’t the right time.

The hardest was to be away from Tiffany and not knowing what and how she was doing. I asked Yuri but she didn’t tell me much. She only told me she would take care of Tiffany…something that I couldn’t do.

I closed my eyes and prayed that sleep would take me away.

Kwon’s Residence,

Yuri turned off her alarm clock as she stirred under the blanket. The sleeping girl next to her buried her face deeper inside the pillow and Yuri smiled at the sight. It was always the same. Jessica was already half-awake but instead of getting up, she would whine and roll around thinking Yuri would be nice and not drag her to school.

“Sleeping princess, wake up.” Yuri slide closed to her girlfriend and wrapped her arm around the tiny waist, “We have to go to school.” She brushed Jessica’s hair gently before placing a kiss on the girl’s bare shoulder. “Wake up.”

“Hmmm leave me alone.” Jessica mumbled.

“We are going to be late baby.” Another kiss on the neck and Yuri felt her girlfriend shivering. “We still have to check on Tiffany…”

At the mention of her best friend’s name, Jessica’s eyes popped open and she turned to look at Yuri. “What are we going to do? Do you think she will go to school?”

Yuri shrugged and sat up, “She has to since exams are almost there but I don’t know if we can force her to.”

Jessica sighed, “We can’t force her. It won’t help. Let’s take it slowly. I’m more worried about her health. She didn’t eat anything yesterday.”

“I know.”

The couple got off bed and went through their morning routine. Yuri was the first one to be ready so she went to check on Tiffany.

It was expected that Tiffany wouldn’t answer when Yuri knocked on her door. “Tiffany, we have to go to school. Are you coming?”

No answer.

“Fany?”

Still nothing.

“I’m coming in.” Yuri said as she turned the doorknob. Stepping inside the room, she noticed the blinds were completely down, leaving the room in complete darkness. “Tiffany?”

Tiffany’s lying figure was seen under the covers. She was lying in the same position as she was the night before. Yuri couldn’t tell whether her friend was sleeping or not and she preferred to not force her too much.

“We are going to school Fany-ah. Exams are coming up so we have to study. Are you sure you don’t want to come with us?” She talked to the sleeping figure.

Yuri wasn’t expecting a reply but it didn’t stop her from speaking like Tiffany was awake. “It’s fine if you want to stay at home today. We can study together tonight. Hmm I’m going to open the blinds a bit, okay? It’s too dark in here and you need some sunlight.” She walked to the windows and opened the blinds.

“So how is she?” Jessica whispered by the door.

Yuri shook her head and walked toward her girlfriend, “My mom will be at home so if you need anything, ask her.”

Yuri closed the door and stood outside with Jessica. “I don’t know if she is sleeping or not.”

“We can’t leave her like this.”

“Don’t worry. I will tell my mom to take care of her. She doesn’t listen to us but maybe she will listen to my mother.”

Yuri and Jessica went into the kitchen where Mrs. Kwon was preparing breakfast. “How is Tiffany?”

“She doesn’t even move mom.”

“You two eat and go to school. I’ll take care of her.”

“Where is Yoona?”

“She left already.”

Yuri and Jessica ate their breakfast before leaving for school. Although she didn’t want to leave her best friend alone, Jessica knew there was no choice. For now, none of them could help her since Tiffany had shut everyone out. It was hard but they had to give her some space and be patient.

S1 High School,

The class was quiet. Everyone was studying calmly while the teacher walked around answering questions whenever a student needed help. Those study classes were a real nightmare for Jessica who felt sleepy whenever things were too quiet for her tastes.

“Yuri-ah, I’m sleepy.”

“You just woke up.”

“This subject is so boring.”

“I know but you still have to study it.”

“Look. I think Sooyoung is sleeping.” Jessica pointed at her friend whose head was swinging left and right. “She is going to get caught.” She laughed quietly.

“You are such a bad friend.”

“Yah!”

“Jessica, Yuri. Do you have any questions?” The teacher glared at them.

The noisy couple shook their heads and went back into study mode.

When the bell rang, Jessica let out a sigh of relief and stretched on her chair. “Finally!”

“Time to eat!” Sooyoung’s voice echoed through the class. “I was so hungry that it made me feel sleepy.”

“You fell asleep.”

“Who said that?”

“I saw you. We saw you.”

“Whatever.”

The group of friends walked out of class together. They bought something at the cafeteria before setting down at their usual spot, outside. They were talking about random things until the topic switched to their friend, Tiffany.

“How is she?” Hyoyeon asked.

“We heard what happened with Taeyeon. That’s awful.” Sooyoung added.

Gossips traveled extremely fast in their school and practically every single student heard of the Taeyeon and Tiffany’s story.

Jessica shook her head, “I can’t believe everyone knows already.”

“That was expected.” Yuri pointed out. “It will die down eventually.”

“Maybe but if Tiffany comes to school-”

“We will protect her.” Yuri said.

“So how is she?” Hyoyeon asked again as her question hadn’t been answered yet.

“Hard to say…She seems to be sleeping so it’s a good thing, right?”

“She cried until her body was too exhausted. I don’t know what we can do to make her feel better.”

“Drag Taeyeon back.” Sooyoung blurted out.

“She will come back.” Yuri stated. “But whether she comes back now or in a few weeks doesn’t change the fact that she left in the first place.”

“True.”

“What a turnover. I thought things were good between them.”

“Tiffany thought too.”

“Anyway, let’s not depress over that issue. We have to be happy and cheerful for Tiffany.”

“Easier to say than do.”

“I know.” Yuri leaned over and kissed her girlfriend on the cheek.

The group with the help of Hyoyeon changed topic and discussed about something else. Everyone was worried about Tiffany but it was true that they couldn’t only talk and focus on that. They had other things to worry about and while it was hard to do so, they still had to try.

Kwon’s Residence,

Mrs. Kwon made porridge and a few side dishes. After her daughter and Jessica left the house, she decided to cook some food for Tiffany who was still locked in her room.

Being a mother’s figure to Taeyeon, Mrs. Kwon was the best to handle this kind of situations. She knew how to talk to someone who refused to open up and knew her words could help the young girl.

Walking inside the room where Tiffany was, Mrs. Kwon realized things were worse than she had expected. She walked toward the bed where she sat down. “Tiffany.” She brushed the young girl’s hair.

She knew Tiffany was awake since the girl was holding her phone tightly. “Wake up and eat Tiffany. You can’t skip too many meals.” Mrs. Kwon tried to reason her.

“I…I’m not hungry…” Her voice was weak and soft.

Mrs. Kwon sighed, “You are hungry, believe me. Now you wouldn’t want this old lady to worry, right? So wake up, go wash your face and come downstairs with me.”

Tiffany shook her head, “Thank you but-”

“There is no but. You know, deep down that eventually, you will have to come out so better do it now. There are only you and me in the house. You don’t want to face your friends? It’s the best time to sneak out.” She smiled.

“…”

“Listen, I made you some delicious food and I put lot of effort into it so make me happy and eat them, okay? You wouldn’t want to make me sad, right? I will let you prepare slowly and will wait for you downstairs.” Mrs. Kwon stood up and walked out of the room.

Los Angeles,

Taeyeon’s POV

I doze off a few hours but I felt even more tired than I was before my nap. And Tiffany wasn’t in my dream or was it a nightmare? I sat up and opened up my phone. There were a few messages from my father and one from Mr. Min. I replied to the newest message before going into the bathroom to take a shower; a cold shower. My body was freezing but once again, it made me feel better.

The icy water touching my body was soothing. It made me feel another kind of pain. It made me forget the painful thought of Tiffany.

I changed clothes and left my hotel. It took me a short 5 minutes to reach the hospital.

Sunye’s room was luxurious for a hospital’s room. That’s what you get when you can afford it. She was lying on her bed, talking with her parents when I came in. I bowed to Mr. and Mrs. Min and sat on a chair on the other side of the bed.

“Well, we will go talk to your doctor about tomorrow’s schedule. We will be back shortly, honey.” Mr. Min kissed his daughter’s forehead.

They left the room and closed the door behind them.

I stared at the floor, not knowing what to say or to do. Was I supposed to comfort her? Cheer her up? My headache was becoming stronger as I thought about it and I just wanted someone to knock me off to take away that pain.

“Since when are we so awkward with each other?” Sunye spoke up.

I looked up and smiled weakly, “I’m sorry. I’m not really useful, am I?”

“Are you really taking this as a mission?”

“I…”

“I really am sorry Taeyeon. I know you don’t want to be here-”

“Let’s not talk about that. I’m here now.”

“Do you hate me?”

“Why?”

“I broke your relationship with Tiffany.”

“This wasn’t your fault. I did it.”

“Maybe you should go back.”

“I broke too many promises already. Let me fulfill this one.”

“I wish I wasn’t sick.” She said sadly. “I wish things were like before. I wish I could have you by my side on your own will. Don’t you wish that too?”

How could I?

“I’m sorry Sunye. If I had a wish right now, it would be setting you free. I’m sorry that you are still holding on to me and I know it is my fault for giving you hope when there were none left. I don’t deserve your love.”

“I’m getting used to the feeling of being rejected.” She laughed.

“You will find someone better than me. That can’t be hard.”

“You are a good person Taeyeon. Never believe people who say you aren’t.”

I smiled. I recently broke the heart of the most wonderful girl in the world, how could I possibly consider myself as a good person?

“Are you ready for your surgery tomorrow?” I changed the topic.

“I have to…”

“It will be fine. I heard the surgeon is one of the best in the world.”

“I believe he is but we never know. Accidents can happen.”

“You shouldn’t have negative thoughts when inside the surgery room. Think positively.”

“Don’t worry, I will. If I don’t make it, it would have waste your time, wouldn’t it?”

“Don’t say that. You are making it sound like I don’t care about your life.”

“Do you?”

“I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t.”

“I will make it. I will come out alive and I will see you again. Promise.” Sunye extended her pinky finger, “Pinky promise?”

Smiling wholeheartedly was something Taeyeon couldn’t do since her breakup with Tiffany, but seeing Sunye making that effort to relieve the awkwardness between them, she couldn’t help but smile. “Promise.”

Kwon’s Residence,

Mrs. Kwon was sitting at the dining table. In front of her lay various dishes and a bowl of porridge still steaming hot. It had been 10 minutes since she walked down from Tiffany’s room.

The sound of timid footsteps caught her attention and she looked up at the opening door. Tiffany appeared, her head slightly down.

“Ah Tiffany, come here.” Mrs. Kwon pointed at the empty seat across her.

The young girl kept her head down as she walked toward the table and took her seat. “Thank you.”

“It’s fine Fany-ah. You can look at me. There is no one but us here.”

Tiffany nodded and looked up. Her eyes were all swollen because of the tears and the dark under her eyes were the signs of her lack of sleep. Mrs. Kwon shook her head sadly, “You have to take care of yourself Tiffany.” She picked the spoon and handed it to the young girl. “Eat now. Please.”

Tiffany nodded again. She took the spoon and began to eat.

“Be careful, it’s still hot.” Mrs. Kwon warned her.

Mrs. Kwon watched Tiffany ate in silence. No words were exchanged but she knew that’s what Tiffany needed too. Slowly, the dishes on the table disappeared and Mrs. Kwon smiled. “You said you weren’t hungry?” The elder woman teased. “I can recognize a hungry kid when I see one.”

“Thank you.” Tiffany bowed.

“Since when are you so unfamiliar with me, huh?”

“I…”

“Well, I’m happy you enjoyed my food.”

“It was delicious.”

“Shall we wash the dishes? Will you help me?” Mrs. Kwon stood up and started cleaning the table. Tiffany helping her immediately.

The two women washed the dishes together, like they did the first time Tiffany came to the Kwon’s house. That day, Mrs. Kwon and Tiffany immediately bonded and since then, their relationship had only been better.

“You know,” Mrs. Kwon spoke up. “You are not alone. You might think that nobody can understand and feel your pain but you are wrong. And even if they can’t understand you, they can empathize with you. Believe me; sharing your pain is the first step toward healing.”

Tiffany stayed silent and stared at the white plate in her hands. She heard every words Yuri’s mom was saying and while she wanted to talk about her feelings, she was too afraid to cry as soon as the name Taeyeon escaped her lips. So she nodded silently and waited for Mrs. Kwon to continue.

“I know it’s hard to show our weak side, but nobody is going to judge you here. We all have been there. Heartbreaks are common. It’s a bad period but it will go away. You won’t stay sad all your life. And…she will come back.”

Tiffany listened attentively at Mrs. Kwon’s words. Unconsciously, a tear dropped on Tiffany’s cheek when Taeyeon’s name was mentioned.

“You are probably wondering why this is happening to you. What did you do wrong? A lot of ‘what if’ kind of questions. The truth is nobody could have predicted it and you couldn’t have prevented it of happening either. Everything happens for a reason Tiffany. It might take time to understand it, but one day, you will.” Mrs. Kwon turned off the water and took off the gloves she was wearing. “You know, I used to have the same conversation with Taeyeon. She held a lot of her emotions in when she was little. I guess you could see it, how it was so hard for her to open up. But then you came and changed her completely. It meant something Tiffany and I’m sure Taeyeon knows it. She loves you.”

Tiffany wiped the tears that were forming at the corners of her eyes and Mrs. Kwon gave her a hug. “Everything will be okay when she comes back. You only have to be strong and believe in your love for each other. I know you’re angry with her and you have all the rights to be. But it doesn’t mean you have to punish yourself for her mistake.” The older woman patted the crying girl gently on the back. “Now cry if you need to. It will be our secret.”

So silently, Tiffany shared her tears with Mrs. Kwon.

**********

After dropping Jessica at her house and promising her that she would take care of Tiffany, Yuri went back home. Her little sister, Yoona was already there with her girlfriend Seohyun. The two girls were doing their homework in the kitchen while Mrs. Kwon was busy preparing snacks.

“Hi mom. Hi kids.” Yuri greeted everyone.

“Ah Yuri. Where is Jessica?”

“At home. She wanted to come and see Tiffany but I told her to go home and rest.” Yuri grabbed a kimbap on the counter and ate it. “How is Fany?”

“She ate lunch with me and I talked to her a little bit. Don’t worry. It will be okay.”

“Good. We were worried since she didn’t eat anything yesterday.”

“Later take those kimbap in her room.”

“I will ask her if she wants to study too. I’m kind of worried about her exams.”

“The key is to not try to make her talk. Don’t force her to share her feelings with you. Act like nothing happened.”

“It’s kind of hard…”

“Keep in mind that she is constantly thinking about those events. Taeyeon is on her mind every second of the day so when you are with her, even if you know it’s impossible, try to make her think about other things. Taeyeon shouldn’t be the center of your conversations.”

“Okay I will.”

“Good.” Yuri grabbed another kimbap and ate it before taking the plate her mother had prepared for Tiffany.

Like usual, the room was dark. Yuri wondered how Tiffany could stay in the darkness all day. It was gloomy and enough to make everyone depressed. She turned on the light and put the plate down on the table.

“My mom made kimbap.” She said.

Tiffany was lying in her usual position, facing the wall.

“I know you might not be hungry but try and eat them. You have to eat something Fany-ah.”

“…”

Yuri sighed and went to sit on the edge of the bed. She stared at Tiffany’s back and stopped herself from shaking the lying girl to knock some senses into her. She knew it was easy for her to think this way and she was probably not in the right to act like she understood but the truth was, Yuri had been there. She had been hurt in the past and she knew that how it was to feel betrayed by the one you loved.

“Taeyeon is an idiot.” She said out loud. “She is an idiot for acting like this but you are idiot for not standing up.”

Tiffany’s body moved a little as she heard her friend’s harsh words.

“I’ve been there Fany. I know what’s like to feel all miserable, don’t you remember? I know what it is and you know as much as I do that it’s useless to be like this. You deserved better than locking yourself in a room all day and cry. It’s not going to bring her back faster.” Yuri sighed, “I don’t want to sound harsh and scold you. It hurt me to see you like this you know? I just want you to take care of yourself…”

“Thank you.” Tiffany’s words were like whispers.

Yuri stood up and walked to the door, “I guess you already know but she is fine. I mean, she is safe.” She said to her friend before closing the door behind her.

Los Angeles,

Taeyeon’s POV

Everything reminded me how Tiffany. I was lying alone in my hotel room and every single object reminded me of Tiffany. Staring at the ceiling, I remembered how we used to lie in bed together and talked all night. How her soft hand was holding mine, our hands fitting perfectly with each other. The huge LED screen brought back memories of all the time we spent watching those romantic movies that made me cringe while Tiffany enjoyed them so much.

I stood up and walked toward the windows to lower down the blinds. The view from my room wasn’t bad and I thought about Tiffany again. We never talked about Los Angeles but I knew she would love to come in that city. I imagined all the things I could do if Tiffany was by my side; all the places we could visit, all the food we could try out and all the crazy shopping she could do.

Would I have the chance to bring her in that city in the future?

Turning off the lights, I lay down on my bed and took my phone out. Tiffany and I took so many pictures together that I could spend an entire day just looking at them.

It hurt that she wasn’t there with me, that I couldn’t touch her, kiss her, but seeing her beautiful face on the tiny screen of my phone was still enough to make me smile.

That night, I didn’t sleep. My heart was aching for her presence.

I missed her so much I could die.

Kwon’s Residence,

Another day went by and Tiffany was still the same. She spent the day helping Mrs. Kwon with various chores in the house before retreating in her room in the evening. She was still trying to avoid her friends in fear of breaking down in front of them.

Yuri was in her room, checking her phone while her sister flipped through the TV channels. “The surgery is today.” Yuri said out loud after she finished reading one of her message.

“It’s Taeyeon-unnie?”

“Yeah.”

“Are you still angry with her?”

“Of course. How can I not?”

“Don’t you think it’s hard for her too?”

“Probably but it’s hard for me to take that into consideration when I see how messed up Tiffany is every day.”

“I know.” Yoona sighed. She wanted to try and understand Taeyeon’s feelings but it was hard.

“Let’s hope everything goes well with Sunye so Taeyeon can come back early.”

“What if it doesn’t go well? The surgery I mean.”

“I don’t want to think about that. Taeyeon has no control over it but I’m sure she would find a way to blame herself. She’s been doing that for years already…” Yuri said bitterly.

“I feel bad for her though. How much guilt had she been holding in all these years?”

“Too much I guess. I just think it’s unfair that Tiffany has to pay for that.”

Yoona nodded and turned off the TV. “By the way, when are you going to talk to the parents?”

“About what?”

“The good news of course.”

“Ah…that. I don’t know. I think it’s better if Jessica and I announce it to her parents first. You know, in case they may be against it.”

“Why would they be against it? I thought they love you?”

“Yeah they love me but still. She is their baby daughter.”

“And who told you the parents wouldn’t be against it?”

“Oh I’m sure mom won’t like the idea of me moving out but she will let go anyway. Dad isn’t a problem.”

“Did you tell Taeyeon-unnie?”

“Nope. And I don’t think Jessica told Tiffany as well. It might not be the right time to give her this kind of happy news.”

“I hope things will go back to normal soon. The atmosphere is all gloomy at home.”

“Yeah I know what you mean…”

The two sisters discussed a little longer before Yoona went back to her room. Yuri turned off the light and lay on her bed. She had almost forgotten about the moving out issue. With Jessica, they hadn’t discussed much about the new place since she wanted Jessica to focus on the exams.

While she knew for sure that her parents wouldn’t be against it, a part of her was afraid that Jessica’s parents would object.

It sure was a stressful week with Taeyeon and Tiffany’s issue, all the studies for their upcoming exams and the moving out news she had to share with her and Jessica’s parents.

Los Angeles,

Taeyeon’s POV

The surgery went well. Sunye’s parents asked for the best surgeon in the field and it was a relief when he walked out of the surgery room with a smile on his face. I didn’t ask him anything; I was just standing there, next to her parents, listening to their conversation. The surgeon told us that she wasn’t awake yet so I went back to my hotel.

I was like a ghost. People could feel I was there but my involvement was nonexistent.

Her parents knew it; they knew all I could do was being present. That’s what they asked me to do anyway. The night they called me out, I knew that someday, I would regret it, but I couldn’t refuse their request. I couldn’t say no. But I also know that if they were to request that from me again, I would refuse it.

<<Flashback>>

“We have a favor.”

Sunye’s parents were kneeling on the floor, their heads down.

“Please Mr. and Mrs. Min, don’t do that.” Taeyeon rushed toward the elders and helped them stand up. “What’s going on?”

Mrs. Min grabbed Taeyeon’s hands and begged her to help them. “Please Taeyeon.”

Mr. Min calmed his wife, asking her to let Taeyeon’s hands go. He held her shoulders and walked her back to her seat. Taeyeon followed them and sat down, trying to figure what was happening.

“We need your help Taeyeon.”

“Please tell me.”

Mr. Min breathed in deeply before speaking. “Sunye is going to have a major heart surgery in Los Angeles…and we would like you to be by her side when it happens.”

Taeyeon was taken aback. She wasn’t expecting this kind of favor. She thought they wanted her to help Sungmin with his scandal but this request…it was huge.

“I-I…”

“We know about your new life but she still loves you.”

“Her doctor said this was an important surgery. It could go wrong on so many levels and Sunye needs everyone she loves by her side to help her mentally. Your presence can save our daughter.”

Taeyeon heard all their words and registered them but she didn’t understand them all. Her mind was thinking about something else, someone else. “I don’t know if I-”

“Taeyeon. I am so sorry for blaming you all these years and you have the right to be angry at me, but please, help Sunye.”

“I am not angry at you,” Taeyeon shook her head. “This is the problem…”

“You don’t need to stay long. Just until she is out from danger and her state is stable. A few weeks…”

“Few weeks?”

“Are you worrying about your examinations? That shouldn’t be a problem, we can-”

“No,” Taeyeon shook her head again. “I can’t do that to her…” She mumbled.

“To who?”

“I’m sorry. I have to think about it first.” Taeyeon stood up and bowed. “I really can’t give you an answer now.” She was about to leave when Sunye’s father spoke up.

“The surgery is next week.”

And Taeyeon felt the world falling on her.

“Please save her.”

<<End Flashback>>

I just couldn’t say no. Looking at them, these same eyes that held me responsible for their daughter’s situation, I felt even guiltier. I almost killed her back then so this request was a way for me to redeem myself.

The thing is; it was hard to believe that this request broke my life apart. My life, my heart, her heart…everything broke into million pieces and I didn’t know if I would be able to collect the pieces later on.

Being away from Tiffany was a torture, but I deserved it. I deserved all the pain our separation was causing me, and I deserved the cold shoulder my friends were giving me. I deserved all this pain and I guess I would have accepted it better if I knew I was the only one suffering…but I wasn’t.

“I’m so sorry Tiffany.” Sitting alone in my hotel room, I stared at her pictures in my phone and unconsciously, my tears dropped.

S1 High School,

Jessica’s POV

3 days. It had been 3 days since Taeyeon left. We were still studying for our upcoming exams in school and Tiffany was still not ready to come with us. She was slowly opening up again since she wasn’t locking herself in her room all day but she was still being distant with us.

Yuri told me that she spent a lot of time with Mrs. Kwon. They cooked and even cleaned the house together. I did wonder why she couldn’t talk to me but I didn’t want to make a fuss about it since the most important thing was her getting better.

After school, Yuri had some business to do so I decided to hang out with my friends. It had been a while since we spent time together at our favorite ice cream shop.

Hyoyeon and Sooyoung were like usual, bickering with each other about random things.

“I told you they are dating! I saw them!”

“Who?”

“No they’re not dating! She is dating some other dude!”

“Who?”

“I saw them for god sake!”

“WHO?!” I raised my voice and both girls turned to look at me. “Sorry, who?”

“Park Gyuri.”

“Argh please don’t talk about that bit-”

“That what?” Sooyoung smiled as she also noticed the girl who had just entered the shop.

Park Gyuri walked to the counter, ordered something, paid then left the shop as quick as she had entered. The gossip girls waited until she was out of sight before they went back to talking about her.

“So what about that evil wicked girl?” Jessica asked.

“I saw her with that guy, the tall one who is in the basketball team.” Hyoyeon said, “They were eating each other’s mouth after school, so don’t tell me they are not dating!” She glared at Sooyoung.

“But I saw her holding hands with some other guy yesterday!”

“Huh sorry but I think kissing each other means more than holding hands.”

“Maybe she is dating them both.”

“It won’t surprise me knowing the girl.”

“Honestly, who cares? Why are we even talking about her?”

“Okay girl easy now. We know you don’t like her.”

Jessica dismissed the last comment with her hand and took a sip of her fresh drink. “Anyway, I can’t wait to graduate. All those exams studies are killing me.” She complained.

“Well, if you had been studying harder all year, you wouldn’t need to complain now.”

“Shut up.”

“Isn’t Yuri tutoring you? It must help.”

“I bet they spent their tutoring sessions making out.” Sooyoung grinned.

“Yah!”

“Oh come on. I’ve always wondered, is she a good kisser?”

“I’m not talking about this with you.”

“Please understand her. She is desperate.”

“Yah I heard you! I’m not desperate. I can go out there and date if I want to.”

“Really? Go then.”

“Whatever.” Sooyoung ignored Hyoyeon and looked back at Jessica. “So is she?”

“I’m not telling you.”

“Just say yes or no.”

“I don’t want to.” Jessica was starting to blush.

“Leave her alone now. I bet she is. No, I hope she is since she is kind of hot.”

“Hey!”

“What? I’m complimenting your girlfriend. Be happy.”

“I must admit, I kind of like her when we first met. I didn’t quite understand why she liked you instead of a hot and tall girl like me but I’m fine with it now.” Sooyoung rambled while her two friends stared at her in disbelief. “What?”

“You liked Yuri?” Jessica asked surprised.

“Well, like Hyoyeon said, she is hot.”

“Yes she is.” Jessica grinned. “And she is mine.”

“Great, now she is gonna show off.” Hyoyeon face palmed Sooyoung.

“Yah!!! Why did you hit me?”

“That’s your fault. You talked about her first.”

Jessica laughed out loud at her two bickering friends. It was nice to be in a friendly atmosphere like this and forgot about all the worries and sad events that happened a few days earlier.

She needed a break. It wasn’t obvious and she didn’t talk about it but Jessica was really stressed over the upcoming exams. And it didn’t help that she was also worried for her best friend.

Jessica couldn’t wait for the exam period to be over. She was already looking forward to her summer vacation and all the good things that were waiting for her.

Los Angeles,

Taeyeon’s POV

I dragged myself out of my hotel room to visit Sunye at the hospital after her parents texted me and told me she was awake.

Walking into her room, I felt quite uneasy. She was lying on her bed, half-awake and I wondered if my presence wasn’t going to tire her out. She was speaking really slowly and her eyes were barely opened.

“Hey.” I sat down on the chair next to her bed.

She smiled and replied with a weak voice, “You are here.”

I held up my pinky finger, “Pinky promise.”

She tried to laugh but coughed a little. “Are you okay? Do you need something?” I stood up but she shook her head slowly. “Tell me if you need anything.” I sat back down.

“I’m happy you are here.” She managed to say.

I smiled but found nothing to say. It was a confusing feeling. I was definitely happy that she made it and the surgery was a total success, but the situation I was in stopped me from being happy.

“The doctor said you were really strong. Your body is going to heal in no time.”

“When…are you….going to…leave?”

“You want me to leave?”

“No…but I know…you will…”

“I will stay until you can get out of here. I-”

“Promised. I know.”

“Just get better, okay?”

Sunye looked away. I don’t know why she was acting this way. There was something about her that I couldn’t point out. Maybe I was tired and thinking too much or maybe she was tired so I couldn’t see the happiness in her eyes. But she wasn’t looking relieved at the good news. She was going to get better but she wasn’t thrilled about it.

I stayed a little longer with her before the nurse came in and told me that she needed to rest. I didn’t say it but I was thankful that the nurse came. I wanted to leave that hospital room where the smell, the atmosphere was slowly suffocating me.

Instead of taking a cab back to the hotel, I walked instead. It wasn’t a long walk. And I needed it. I had a headache since I landed in the city and it didn’t want to go away no matter the amount of pills I took.

I zoned out as I stood in the street, waiting for the light to turn green. I really felt like a lifeless soul wandering around without a destination. It didn’t help my mental state that I was lacking days of sleep either. A pink bicycle rode by and I swear the girl riding it looked like Tiffany’s clone.

I was getting pathetic as days gone by and I knew it wouldn’t get better.

That night, I went back to my hotel room and like every night since I arrived, I looked at the pictures of Tiffany in my phone and prayed someone would come and free me.

Kwon’s Residence,

Jessica went into the guest room and stood by the door. It wasn’t late but Tiffany was already in bed.

“Hey Tiffany. We are having a study group in the living room. Want to join us?” Jessica carefully walked in the guest room and sat on the edge of the bed.

Tiffany was lying under the cover, facing the wall and didn’t move at Jessica’s presence.

“Listen Fany…” Jessica got closer to the sleeping figure. “I know it’s hard…and I know it hurts more than anyone can imagine…but you have to stand up again and live.”

“…”

“Do you remember how I looked like after Donghae dumped me? Do you remember how dead I was? It was pitiful and I am ashamed when I think about how miserable and how I was ready to hide for the rest of my life for someone else’s stupidity. You are better than this. You are stronger than this. Don’t become like me Fany-ah.”

“…”

“Listen. I’m not asking you to move on and find someone else nor am I asking you to forgive Taeyeon, but you can’t stay like this forever. I know there is nothing better to do than hide and cry but believe me; it won’t help you once you will have to go out and face the world. This is a crucial time for your future. Exams are coming up and you are not allowed to fail. I know it hurts but staying here and thinking about it every second of your life won’t help…it is only worse. I know you can do it.”

“…”

Jessica wanted to yell at her friend and asked her to stop being like this because it hurt all of them to see her like this, but she had no right to do so…not since she went through the exact same thing. Defeated, she let the crying girl rest and walked to the door.

“I miss my best friend. We miss you Miyoungie.” Jessica said before closing the door behind her.

*********

Yuri, Jessica, Seohyun and Yoona were gathering in the kitchen for their study session. Each busy with their books and notes. So busy they didn’t hear the shy footsteps of their friend entering the room.

When Tiffany stepped into the kitchen to stand in front of her friends, they were all speechless like they had seen a ghost.

“I’m sorry.” Tiffany said. All the girls kept quiet as they knew their friend had something to say.

“I’m sorry for worrying everyone.” She started. “I know you have been trying very hard to cheer me up and I apologize for disregarding your efforts.”

Jessica patted her friend’s back in comfort while Tiffany continued, “This week, I had all the time to think over and I’ve come to realize that it was stupid to hide and give up on everything because of a breakup. You were right Sica, I have to be strong for myself.”

Another pat on her back and Tiffany smiled, “So I’m going to get back on track and do my best so I can graduate next month.” She announced happily.

“I’m glad you are thinking this way unnie.” Yoona smiled.

“We will do it together.” Seohyun added.

“Thank you girls.” Tiffany attempted her famous eyes smile and even though it wasn’t as bright as usual, it was better than the teary eyes that she had been showing for days.

“Okay, let’s nail those exams!!!” Yuri cheered.

The study session was calm. A few jokes and bickering between Yuri and Yoona livened up the atmosphere but most of them were really serious with the study. Like Mrs. Kwon had advised, none of the girls mentioned Taeyeon or the events that happened days ago.

And it worked. Tiffany talked, smiled and laughed and no matter how hard it was for her to not think about Taeyeon, she still tried and for a couple of hours, her mind was able to rest a while.

Los Angeles,

Taeyeon’s POV

Sunye was slowly getting better. She was allowed to get out of her room and be outside for longer periods. Her parents and her doctor were all happy with her progresses. She was getting better at a fast speed. But somehow, she didn’t look happy to me.

Sitting on a wheelchair, I pushed her around the hospital park. The weather was good and her parents insisted I took her out to breathe some fresh air.

There was a fountain in the middle of the park and I sat on a bench with her on the wheelchair next to me. “What’s wrong with you?” I asked her even though a part of me didn’t want to know the answer.

She looked at me innocently, but we both knew she knew what I was talking about. “What do you mean?”

“I was expecting you to be in party mode after the doctor said you are going to get better. Why are you looking so sad?”

“I’m not sad.”

“But you are not happy.”

“I’m just greedy.”

“For what?”

“I wanted to get my health back and now that I’m getting it, there is something else that I really want back…but I know I can’t.” She stared at me and I knew what she meant.

“Your health is the most important thing.”

“Yes it is. My health is the reason why you are sitting by my side right now.”

“I hope you are not thinking about-”

“I’m not stupid, don’t worry. And I wouldn’t do that to you.”

“I didn’t mean that.”

“I admit that I did think about it though.” She looked at the fountain. “Me getting better only means that you will leave and move on with your life. So yeah, I admit it, a part of me was sad that I was going to get better because I wanted you to stay with me.”

I stayed quiet. There was nothing I could say that would make her feel better.

“I’m sorry.” She said and her apology made me feel worse.

I simply nodded.

“And I’m worried about you Taeyeon,” She turned to look at me. “Are you eating? You lost weight.” She studied my face and I looked away.

“I’m fine.” I lied.

“And those dark circles under your eyes. What’s going on?”

“Jet lag, that’s all. It’s been a few days only. I will get used to it.”

“I’m getting better and you are neglecting your health? I don’t want you to join me in the hospital, you know.”

“I’m fine, don’t worry.”

She studied my face some more and I felt like hundred people were hitting my head with a hammer. The little talk about my physical state didn’t help.

We stayed for half an hour before I walked her back to her room.

Three more weeks…I needed to keep going for three more weeks before I could get my life back. My only worry was that I didn’t know if my body could keep going on like this.

Kwon’s Residence,

The rest of the week at the Kwon’s house was all about studies. Tiffany didn’t go back to school and decided to study at home only. Yuri gave her all her notes to study and from morning until night, all Tiffany did was study.

The girl found out that while she was completely absorbed into her books, her mind was free from Taeyeon. She set a goal for herself and was determined to reach it.

Everyone was quite surprised at the turnout and Jessica, for example, didn’t know that her best friend could be such a passionate student. Their study sessions were mostly Yuri interrogating Tiffany and finding out that the girl had most of her answers right.

Emotionally, Tiffany wasn’t getting better. Whenever she was alone in her room at night, ready to fall asleep, the need to look at Taeyeon’s pictures saved on her phone was too strong and each time she stared at the small screen with Taeyeon’s smiling face on it, she cried.

But Tiffany found a way to escape from that harsh reality without Taeyeon, but little did she know that across the ocean, her other half was slowly falling into despair.