Made To Be Mine
Dinala na rin ako ni Keij papunta sa isang private room sa Blue's Haven matapos niya akong halikan sa harap ng maraming tao at sa harap mismo ni Ysmael. Hindi niya rin binibitawan ang kamay ko habang nakaupo kaming dalawa."Are you okay?" he asked me, and I looked at him. I nodded my head a little and looked away.I didn't know that I would see him here, too. Hindi ko alam na magpupunta rin ang lalaki rito at kasama pa nito ang bagong girlfriend nito. I was so stupid when I just stood there looking at him. I really looked like a pathetic ex-girlfriend...Luckily, Keij was here, too. He came to rescue me from the embarrassment."Celestia," he called my name again and squeezed my hand. "Are you really okay?" he asked me again and I looked at him and I shook my head this time."No..." basag ang tinig na sabi ko sa kaniya. "I... I was surprised to see him here... and he's... he's with her... and..." I looked down. "Keij, am I not attractive? I mean... am I not beautiful enough? Smart enough? Good enough?" tanong ko sa kaniya. Naramdaman ko ang pagpatak ng luha ko habang nakatingin sa lalaki."I just don't understand!" inis na sabi ko bago pinunasan ang pisngi ko. "I don't understand how he did those things! Bakit niya ako sinaktan? Bakit niya ako iniwan? Bakit hindi ako ang pinili niya?" Tumayo ako para maglakad habang pinipilit na pigilan ang pagpatak ng mga luha ko.It's frustrating and disappointing that I was still fucking in love with Ysmael despite all the things he's done, he's doing, and he keeps on doing.Why did I have to be so in love with a man who just kept on hurting me?"Maybe you don't need to understand it," narinig kong sabi ni Keij. Nilingon ko siya at nakatingin siya sa akin habang nakasandal. "It happens, but it wasn't your fault, Celestia. Don't blame yourself for something you had no control with," he added before getting up and giving me his handkerchief."He's dumb like what I told you. The girl he's with, yeah, she's pretty, but she's nothing compared to you."I looked at him, and I think that was the first time Keij really complimented me...Kumunot ang noo niya sa akin bago nag-iwas ng tingin. "Look, I just said that to make you feel better. Huwag kang kiligin."I smiled and hugged him tight. I rested my cheek on his chest while my hands were wrapped around his waist. "Thank you, Keij... Thank you for being here... Thank you for saving me back there..."He hugged me tight, but he didn't say anything, and it was fine with me. Masaya na rin akong naroon si Keij para sa akin... kahit na hindi pa kami matagal na magkakilala at kahit na palagi lang naman din kaming nagbabangayan na dalawa, masaya pa rin ako na nakilala ko siya."You should stop hugging me, you know?" he said after a while, and I looked at him."What?" I creased my forehead. Nananatili akong nakayakap sa kaniya.Keij looked back and looked at me. "This place was the one we had sex and—""Oh my God!" Mabilis ko siyang tinulak at tinitigan ng masama. "You brought me here?" I asked him and frowned at him."You were on the verge of crying earlier and I can't let you go back to your friends looking like that. You need more private space, and no one is in here," sabi nito sa akin bago ngumisi. "Dumi ng utak mo, 'no?" dagdag pa nito na iiling-iling. "Besides, Enzo might kill me if I make this VIP room my own red room.""Who's Enzo?" I asked him to just divert the topic."My cousin. His family owns this bar," sagot naman niya sa akin bago muling sumulyap sa akin. "You're good now? We can go back to your friends now," sabi niya sa akin na tinanguan ko naman. Hinawakan niya ang siko ko bago ako sinabayan na maglakad na papalabas ng kuwartong iyon.Kahit papaano ay mas magaan na rin ang pakiramdam ko ngayon. Maybe I was really surprised earlier when I saw him here. Nakikita ko naman siya sa opisina pero siguro, iba lang din talaga kapag nakikita ko siya kasama ang bagong girlfriend niya."Where have you been?" tanong ni Chantelle sa amin ni Keij nang bumalik kami sa upuan namin. Naroon na rin si Arianne na kumakain."Just around," sabi ko bago naunang umupo. Tumabi naman sa akin si Keij bago ako inabutan ng maiinom."I have a question," si Arianne ang nagsalita habang nakatingin kay Keij. "You see, we kind of stalked you." She smiled at him, and I widened my eyes at her. Hindi ko in-expect na aaminin niya ang bagay na iyon kay Keij!"Oh, yeah?" Keij chuckled and drank from his bottle. Parang balewala sa lalaki ang sinabi ng kaibigan ko. Mukhang sanay na sanay na ma-stalk ang lalaking ito. Napailing na lang ako bago uminom din."Yeah, and I saw Kol, your twin brother." She smiled while looking at Keij. "Is he single?" deretsong tanong nito. Namilog naman ang bibig ko sa deretsahang tanong nito kay Keij. Maging si Chantelle ay natawa dahil talagang hindi makatulog si Arianne sa pagtatanong tungkol sa kakambal ni Keij."Kol?" Keij chuckled and breathed heavily. "Sorry, my brother's off the market. He's... reserved.""Gano'n? Sayang naman. He's also handsome," sabi nito na napangiti at muling uminom.Nauwi rin naman ang pag-uusap namin ng mga ito tungkol sa ginagawa naming pagpapanggap ni Keij. Of course, Chantelle asked him if it was okay with him and Keij said yes. Sabi nito ay wala naman din itong ginagawa kaya wala namang kaso sa kaniya kung tulungan ako nito."Ano ako, charity case?" tanong ko kay Keij nang sumakay na ako sa sasakyan nito nang magkayayaan na kaming umuwi. Hindi ko pa rin makalimutan ang sinabi niya sa mga kaibigan ko kanina."What?" he asked as he looked at me when he put on my seatbelt. "Lasing ka ba?" natatawang sabi nito sa akin bago sinuot na rin ang sariling seatbelt."No, I am not," I replied before looking outside. Mabuti na lang din at hindi ko na rin nakita si Ysmael nang bumaba kaming dalawa ni Keij mula roon sa VIP room kanina. I was sure Chantelle and Arianne wouldn't like it that they're breathing the same air as Ysmael."You're not a charity case," sabi nito sa akin bago nagsimulang magmaneho. Hindi naman ako nagsalita habang tahimik lang din si Keij sa pagmamaneho nito. I looked at him and I could see his jaw tightening whenever someone's overtaking us.Napangiti ako nang mapansin ko iyon."If you want me to kiss you again, you can ask me, you know?" sabi nito nang marahil ay mapansin na nakatitig ako sa kaniya. Nabura ang ngiti sa mga labi ko at napasimangot ako rito."You really feel like God took time making you, 'no?" pang-aasar ko sa kaniya dahil napakayabang talaga ng lalaking ito. He's nice sometimes but conceited most of the time!"No, but I know I do have some good fucking genes." He smirked as he looked at me."Yabang mo talaga, 'no? Buti pa kakambal mo, gwapo pero hindi naman ganyan," irap ko sa kaniya. I was expecting him to say something, but he didn't.Napalingon ako sa kaniya at napansin na nanahimik ito bigla."Are you okay?" tanong ko sa kaniya. Bigla akong nakaramdam ng guilt dahil sa sinabi ko rito. "I... I am sorry for what I said, I didn't mean to—""It's fine." He chuckled and looked at me. "I just got distracted. May nakita akong babae, e," he said before looking at me. "Don't worry, everyone knows that Kol is the better twin. Kahit ako alam ko 'yon, e," he added while still smiling.Tumango naman ako sa kaniya at hinayaan na lang itong magmaneho hanggang makauwi na ako sa amin. Dumeretso na lang din ako ng paglilinis ng katawan habang iniisip ang mga nangyayari sa buhay ko.I thought everything was going well... I actually thought Ysmael would propose to me once he got promoted... Matagal na niyang gusto ang bagay na iyon kaya naman talagang sinusuportahan ko siya...Akala ko maayos ang lahat sa aming dalawa, e...But maybe... maybe I was the only one thinking that way...I sat on the bed while brushing my hair, thinking about Ysmael. It has been almost two weeks, and I knew I was still not okay. I was still not fine...I was just really so thankful that I have Chantelle and Arianne, and Keij as well. He's been a very big help to me. Hindi niya ako hinahayaan na mapahiya o kaawaan ni Ysmael...I smiled at the thought of Keij. Even when he's annoying as fuck, he's really someone I could count on even though I just met him recently.Umiling na lang ako bago ako nahiga nang matuyo na ang buhok ko at pinatay ko na rin ang ilaw para makatulog na ako.Nakarinig ako ng katok sa pinto ng opisina ko habang inaayos ko ang schedule ko para sa buong linggo. I smiled at Raquel when I saw her face."Ma'am, tawag kayo sa board room. May announcement daw po," sabi nito sa akin na tinanguan ko naman. Nang makaalis ito ay nabura na rin kaagad ang ngiti sa mukha ko dahil alam ko naman na kung ano ang announcement na iyon.I took my phone and went straight to the boardroom. Pagdating ko roon ay naroon na rin ang ibang heads ng iba't ibang unit. I just greeted them and headed to my seat. Naupo na rin ako kaagad at iniiwasan ko ang isang pares ng mata na kanina pa nakatingin sa akin nang pumasok ako sa loob ng boardroom."Well, I will make this quick," sabi ng director namin na nakangiti. "I got the message from the Big Boss, and it's official. Mr. Ysmael Garcia is now our Business Development Head! He showed extraordinary talent in acquiring clients and handling projects. He's really an asset to this company, so I think this is a well-deserved promotion!"Nagpalakpakan naman ang mga naroon habang nakangiti kay Ysmael. I could hear them greeting him again and again and I remained seated."Congratulations, Ysmael!" sabi ng katabi ko na nilingon ko lang nang pasimple bago muling tumitig na sa lamesa.They also asked him to give a short speech. Gusto ko nang lumabas ng mga oras na iyon dahil pakiramdam ko ay wala naman akong dapat marinig sa mga sasabihin ng lalaki."Well, first of all, thank you sa inyong lahat. You're all a big part of my success, too. Thank you for also helping and for making things easy for me," he laughed, and the others laughed as well. Ako lang yata ang walang reaksiyon sa loob ng kuwartong iyon. "And also, to Celestia..."Kumunot ang noo ko nang marinig ko ang pangalan ko. I looked at him while my forehead was still creased.Nakarinig naman din ako ng mga pagkantiyaw sa mga naroon sa aming dalawa. Of course, wala silang alam sa nangyari sa amin. Wala silang alam sa nangyayari sa amin..."Thank you very much for all the help, sacrifices, understanding... I won't be able to make this far if you're not by my side. Thank you so much, Cel..."I clenched my fist while looking at him. Nakatitig siya sa akin na para bang napakanormal lang ng ginagawa nito. Na para bang katulad lang noon ang ginagawa nito.Bakit ba napakasimple para ditong umakto na walang nangyari? I've been asking myself that question."Celestia, what's your message to Ysmael?" tanong ng director namin kaya napatingin ako rito."What?" I asked him. Muli akong napalingon kay Ysmael na lumapit pa sa akin at hinawakan ang kamay ko."What are you doing?" mahinang tanong ko habang nakatingin dito. Binawi ko ang kamay ko mula sa lalaki at tumingin sa mga kasama namin. "I..." I bit my lip hard before I tried smiling at them. "I am sorry, I have a meeting in five minutes, so I really have to go now," sabi ko na lang sa mga ito bago dali-daling lumabas ng boardroom at dumeretso sa opisina ko para pakawalan ang malalim na paghinga ko."Fuck this..." I put my phone on my table and looked outside through the glass wall of my office. I may not be in the same position with Ysmael now, but I still have my perks being the daughter of the president of the company."Celestia."Napalingon ako sa lalaki nang pumasok ito sa loob ng opisina ko. "What the hell was that? Can't you at least pretend that you're happy for me? A simple message won't kill you."Pagak akong natawa sahil sa sinabi nito. "Who are you?" I asked him while looking at him. "I... I don't know you anymore!""Oh, come on, Celestia. What do you want me to do? Keep apologizing for what I did? I did what I had to do, okay? And I am sorry. Can't you be happy for me? You're with that guy already. You even kissed in front of me, acting like a slut, and—"Naramdaman ko ang pamamanhid ng palad ko nang dumapo iyon sa pisngi niya. Pareho kaming natigilan sa nangyari. It was the first time that I slapped him... It was the first time that I was able to do that to him...Kahit noong nakipaghiwalay siya sa akin, sinabi niya sa akin na may ibang babae na siya, hindi ko siya nagawang sampalin... hindi ko siya nagawang saktan.I just cried...But now... I was so mad at him."How dare you call me a slut?" masama ang loob na sabi ko sa kaniya habang matalim ang titig sa kaniya. "How dare you call me that?""Cel..." Lumambot ang ekspresyon nito. "No, no. I am sorry. I didn't mean it. I was just pissed that you were there. Hindi ka nagpupunta sa lugar na gano'n pero inimpluwensiyahan ka na ng lalaking iyon. Heck, he even kissed you again!""And that's none of your business!" malakas na sabi ko sa kaniya habang nakatitig pa rin ako sa lalaki. "Please, leave." Tumalikod na ako rito at bumalik sa upuan ko at piniling huwag na itong pansinin. Nagpupuyos ang damdamin ko habang nagpipigil na muling magsalita dahil sa sinabi nito sa akin."I am really sorry..." he said before I heard him walk towards the door and leave my office. Doon lamang ako muling nag-angat ng tingin at pinagmasdan ang pintong nilabasan nito. I really don't know what's happening to him... to us.He wasn't like that before...I kept myself busy for the whole day and even when they asked me to join them for the celebratory lunch that Ysmael ordered, I stayed in my office and opted not to join them.Pinadalhan ako nito ng pagkain na hindi ko rin nagawang ipabalik dahil nahiya na lang din akong iutos iyon. Wala rin naman akong ganang kumain kaya hindi ko rin iyon ginalaw.When it was 6 pm, I received a call from Keij."Don't you have anything else to do with your life?" I asked him as I closed my laptop and picked up my bag. Narinig ko ang mahinang tawa ni Keij mula sa kabilang linya."I know a good Korean restaurant with really spicy kimchi. Wanna come?" he asked me, and I smiled immediately. Kaninang tinawagan ako nito bandang alas tres ay nagtanong na ito kung may gusto akong kainin para sa dinner dahil usapan na rin talaga naming magkita ngayon."I'll be there in five minutes," sagot ko rito bago nilingon kung maayos na ang lamesa ko."Nah, take your time. I am fine here."I smiled and told him that I will be quick. Lumabas na rin ako at sinabi ko na lang din sa naabutan kong naglilinis na kuhanin ang pagkain sa lamesa ko at gawin na lang nitong dinner iyon dahil hindi ko nakain."Bye, guys," paalam ko sa mga naroon pa at naglakad na ako deretso sa may elevator para bumaba at puntahan si Keij.Nasa may lobby na ako nang may humila naman sa akin at nakita ko agad si Ysmael na hawak ang braso ko."What the fuck?" I looked at him and pulled my hand. "Ano ba?" I glared at him. "What do you think you're doing?" tanong ko sa lalaki habang masama pa rin ang tingin sa kaniya."Look, Cel. I am not okay that we're not okay. I get it, you're mad because of what I said and—""I don't want to talk to you," I cut him off. "I will also tell my parents about us. Tutal naman promoted ka na, hindi mo na ako masisisi na mahaharang 'yan.""Celestia." Muli niya akong tangkang hahawakan pero may naunang humawak sa kamay ko at hinila ako."It's you again," sabi ni Keij sa lalaki.I looked at Keij, and he was smiling at Ysmael. Si Ysmael naman ay napatuwid ang likod habang nakatingin sa lalaking katabi ko."Keij," he acknowledged."Yeah." Keij nodded and looked at me. "You're ready, baby?" he asked me, and I nodded my head."Yes. I... I was just congratulating him for his promotion..." sabi ko naman na ikinatango ni Keij bago muling lumingon sa lalaki."I see. Congratulations," sabi nito pagkatapos ay inakay na akong maglakad papalabas."Until when are you two going to act like you're a couple?" tanong ni Ysmael. Natigilan ako sa sinabi nito at napatingin kay Keij na napangiti sa narinig mula sa lalaki."Keij..." mahinang tawag ko rito ngunit lumingon na rin si Keij sa lalaki."I'm sorry, what was that?" he asked him while looking at him. Lumakad naman papalapit si Ysmael sa amin at tumingin sa akin. "I know that you're just pretending to be her boyfriend. I know Celestia. She's not the kind of person that will be in a relationship immediately after we break up and—""Of course, because she's nothing like you," Keij cut him off. Natigilan naman si Ysmael sa sinabi ni Keij dito. Nagsusukatan silang dalawa ng tingin nang hinawakan kong muli ang kamay ni Keij."Let's just go..." aya ko sa lalaki. "Don't waste your time," I told him when I looked at Ysmael.Keij smirked and stared at him. "Consider this as my last warning, Mr. Garcia. Stay away from my girlfriend. You have your own girlfriend to attend to. Isa pang beses na makita kong hinawakan mo si Celestia, sigurado akong 'yung dagdag sa sahod mo, kulang pa sa pampa-ospital mo."Lumingon siya sa akin at ngumiti. "Come on, baby."Inakay niya na ako papunta sa sasakyan niya habang ang kamay ay nakahawak sa kamay ko. Pinagmamasdan ko si Keij hanggang sa makasakay kaming dalawa sa sasakyan nito."Were you serious when you said those words?" I asked him, and he chuckled."Palapitin mo siya sa iyo para malaman mo."I rolled my eyes and shook my head. "Puro ka talaga kalokohan 'no?""No, I was serious. He kept on bothering you, Celestia," sabi nito bago nagsimulang magmaneho. Natahimik naman ako sa sinabi niya sa akin.Maybe it was true? Or maybe... we just can't help being together because we're working in the same company?"You okay?" he asked me after a while, and I nodded my head."I actually slapped him earlier..." pagkukuwento ko rito. Napalingon naman sa akin si Keij at kumunot ang noo. "Tangina, nagawa mo 'yon? E, mahal na mahal mo 'yon, ah?" parang gulat na gulat na tanong ni Keij sa akin. Sinundan pa niya ito ng pagtawa.I glared at him and rolled my eyes. "Well, yes, I did! I slapped him because he called me a slut and—""What?" Huminto ito sa pagtawa at mabilis na lumingon sa akin. Inihinto rin nito ang sasakyan sa gilid bago ako muling nilingon na kunot na kunot ang noo. "He did what?" he asked me again.I looked down and sighed a little. "He called me a slut..." pag-uulit ko rito."What the fuck? Dapat pala sinapak ko na 'yon, e," sabi ni Keij sa akin at napatingin naman ito nang hindi ko napigilan na matawa sa reaksiyon nito."Nothing is funny, Celestia," iritableng sabi ni Keij nang magsimula itong magmaneho ulit. Pinigilan ko na lang na matawa kahit na nakakatawa naman talaga ang reaksiyon ni Keij sa akin nang sabihin ko iyon. I just found it funny how he was about to tease me and got mad instead when he found out what happened...Nang makarating kaming dalawa sa Korean restaurant ay hinayaan ko na kaagad si Keij na um-order at nang dumating din ang order namin ay nagsimula na kaming kumain.I never liked spicy food before, but I just woke up today and felt the urge to have spicy kimchi. Hindi ko rin alam kung bakit."Napakatakaw mo namang kumain. Buntis ka ba?" tanong ni Keij sa akin habang abala ito sa paglalagay ng karne sa grill para maluto.Napatingin ako sa kaniya dahil sa sinabi niya at mukhang na-realize rin nito kung ano ang binanggit nito dahil natigilan din ito sa ginagawa."Buntis ka?" tanong nito sa akin na seryosong-seryoso ang mukha.What the fuck?"Gago ka ba?" tanong ko sa kaniya pabalik at sinimangutan siya bago nagpatuloy sa pagkain. Kumuyom ang kamay ko habang hawak ko ang chopsticks at tiningnan si Keij.Bwisit na ito, bigla tuloy akong kinabahan.Gutom lang naman siguro ako dahil hindi ako nag-lunch.Hindi ako buntis.Hindi ako puwedeng maging buntis.
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