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#DS7Unbalanced #InoCent #SMCouple #DaggerSeries

CHAPTER FOURTEEN: ADVICE

TIARA'S POV

I've been restless. I don't know how long I've been tossing and turning in bed. It felt like an eternity since it's been hours since Domino and I retired to our rooms. After he blew my mind for I don't know how many times. That man is built to give me a heart disorder.

With a sigh of resignation, I finally peeled back the covers. I give up. This is so not going to work out. How do I expect to sleep after all... that?

I glance at the wall clock. It's two in the morning.

Ballerinas and sleep are best friends. We use our bodies a lot. Sometimes too much. It's important to have at least eight hours of sleep so that we can get the proper repair and regeneration that we need. And my best friend is abandoning me right now. What a betrayal.

Padabog na inabot ko ang cellphone ko at binuksan ko iyon. I went straight to my contacts, but I paused when I realized something. Who would I call?

The ballerinas are probably deep in slumber right now, and there aren't many of them that I'm close with, there's no way I'm going to call my mother or Naomi, and I like Daria, but it's not part of her job description to get woken up at night just to hear my life's woes. I could call Olena and she would answer, but only so she could scream at me in Ukrainian.

Pabagsak na humiga ako sa kama at muli akong nakipagtitigan sa kisame na pakiramdam ko ay ilang oras ko ng ginagawa. It was then that my phone pinged.

Nagtatakang tinignan ko iyon. It's a notification saying that I've been added to a group chat in Messenger. Luna, the Beauties, and the 7 Beasts.

I clicked the notification, and I was redirected into the app. Nakita ko na si Lucienne pala ang nag-add sa akin sa group chat.

LUCIENNE: Nakalimutan pala nating i-add si Tiara.

LUCIENNE: Hi, Tiara! Hi kapag gising ka na! Ito ang official GC natin. Feel free to back read. Just to warn you though mga kayabangan lang ni Trace ang karamihan diyan.

LUCIENNE: Wala bang online sa inyo? Ang aga pa ah.

LUCIENNE: Charot. Umaga na pala hehe.

AXEL: Everyone's asleep. Maliban kila Kuya Thorn sa Pinas. I think they're still working, except for Coal. He's with Sese.

LUCIENNE: Are you working too that's why you're awake?

LUCIENNE: Hello? We're in China? Shouldn't you go out and do Chinese things?

AXEL: We went out earlier. Ikaw ang ayaw sumama kasi kamo inaantok ka na.

LUCIENNE: Hehe. Oo nga no? But I was really sleepy earlier since I haven't slept for more than three hours in two days. Now I'm not anymore, so I'm writing.

LUCIENNE: Did you go to the Italian restaurant that Trace saw? Ang weird ng chihuahua na 'yon. Nasa China tayo tapos Italian ang kakainin.

AXEL: We went to a vegetarian Singaporean restaurant. Dinalan ka ni Kuya Trace. It's probably in your fridge.

LUCIENNE: Wow. Siya pala ang nagdala no'n.

LUCIENNE: Thank you, Trace! Ang gwapo mo hanggang 4 AM.

Mahinang napatawa ako. Hindi na rin magagawang ma-enjoy ni Trace ang sinabi niya dahil by the time na magising ang lalaki ay lagpas na ang oras na sinabi niya.

LUCIENNE: So are you awake now because you were hungry again?

AXEL: Something like that.

LUCIENNE: You forgot to turn off your notifs, didn't you?

AXEL: Yeah.

LUCIENNE: You're probably hungry. You should eat Chinese.

AXEL: I prefer my wife.

AXEL: I'm muting this and so is Mireia.

AXEL: But I'm ordering Chinese for you. Chinese food. Because I know you already ate the food Kuya Trace bought for you, and you're still hungry.

MIREIA: Mag-Chinese ka muna. Since wala ang Fil-Am mo.

AXEL: And also, Tiara's awake.

MIREIA: Byeiii!

I was smiling huge when my phone rang, signaling an incoming call. Kaagad na sinagot ko iyon nang makita ko na si Lucienne ang tumatawag.

"Oh my god. Can you believe those two?" bungad niya sa akin. "You should really read the books. Para makita mo kung gaano ka-inosente si Axel noon." She let out a laugh of disbelief. "I'm kind of proud for him. He just made a dirty joke. Axel Dawson made a dirty joke."

"Yeah," I said, letting out a giggle. "I think he did."

"So... why are you still awake? Domino told me you usually sleep early."

"I don't know." Umayos ako ng upo at sumandal ako sa headboard ng kama. It was a lie. Of course, I know why I've been restless. "I tried, but I can't sleep."

"Do you still dance?"

"I do. In the morning. Sometimes in the afternoon. I don't have a fixed schedule right now for my... well I guess you can call it my new normal. We do virtual but it's not enough. Inaasikaso pa rin kasi ang tungkol sa coach ko. I also need to work on with a male ballerina for my next performance, and Dagger would need to clear him, so I'm still waiting for that as well."

"Maybe that's the reason? You haven't been active enough lately."

"I've been helping Domino fix his house."

Umilaw ang mga mata niya. "Really? That's great!" Sandaling natigilan siya at kumunot ang noo niya. Then her face cleared and she gave me a knowing look. "It's him, isn't he?"

"Ha?"

"The reason why you can't sleep." Napapailing na pumalatak siya. "This is really the best thing when it comes to close proximity romance. I love it!"

"Umm—"

"So what happened? Did you kiss after sharing alcohol? Is it rawr rawr like with Lia and Gun? I doubt you managed to climb anything and share your first kiss there— ooh! Maybe you climbed on the roof, and then you kissed."

I was torn between being embarrassed and laughing. She really is a writer.

"Lucienne—"

"Or did you kiss in the rain like Pierce and Belaya? Madami pang choices. So ano ang sa inyo?"

"It's... it's nothing like that."

Her lips pursed in disappointment. "So you didn't kiss?"

"I..." I cleared my throat. "I didn't say that we didn't."

I almost dropped the phone when she suddenly screamed. Mabilis na hininaan ko ang volume ng phone bago pa maalarma si Domino at puntahan ako. He's kind of a superhuman, so it wouldn't surprise me if he also has super hearing.

Inabot ko ang earpods ko at ikinabit ko iyon.

"When?!"

Huminga ako ng malalim. We don't know each other that well, and she's Domino's family. Despite that, it feels like I can confide in her. Of course, I know that there's a huge chance that she will tell the other women what I will tell her, but for some reason, I don't mind.

"It actually happened when you came over."

Namilog ang mga mata niya. "What?!"

"When I freaked out over pizza and he followed me. He kissed me..." I let out a sigh, and I'm pretty sure my eyes glaze over while remembering that particular day. "It was a kiss. The best kiss. The greatest kiss I ever experienced."

"That's why you haven't slept? Because of the kiss. Pero ilang araw na 'yon ah?"

"No. No, of course not. That's not the reason."

Ngumisi siya. "So you do know the reason." Inangat-baba niya ang mga kilay niya. "So if it wasn't the kiss, what's keeping you late at night? Is there something more mind-blowing than a kiss— OH MY GOSH!"

"No!" I slid down the bed and I lowered my voice. "No, we did not!"

Nilagay niya ang kamay niya sa tapat ng puso niya. "I thought that only Axel would shock me like this. Trace, Coal, and Luna are younger, pero si Trace masyadong atat magkaroon ng love life 'yon, si Coal naman ang inspirasyon nang maimbento ang salitang harot, at si Luna.. well, hindi na kami magugulat do'n. She's kind of a badass. But Domino... he's the youngest. He might have these particular... uhh... lifestyle choices, but when we think of him, he's just this cheerful fan boy who doesn't seem to grow up, which our children love because he is their favorite playmate."

"Lifestyle choices?"

She blinked a couple of times, and then she strangely waved her hand. "Shing shing!"

My forehead knotted in confusion. "What?"

"Nothing!" she chirped. "So? What happened?"

I decided to just ignore my curiosity. I have more things to think about. And I need to sleep. I want to sleep. "I don't know how to explain... or where to start."

"How about we start at the beginning of your day? I don't mind if this takes long. I have a lot of time, and I won't be coming back to sleep anytime soon."

"But you're writing."

The corner of her lips tipped up. "You never now. Baka makatulong pa ang ikukuwento mo sa sinusulat ko."

"Is it a new book?"

"Ahuh." There's something in the way she looks at me that makes me want to be nervous. "Nasa simula pa lang. But I think the story is starting to go somewhere." Ipinatong niya sa kung saan ang cellphone niya at sumalampak siya sa sahig. "Go on. Tell me about your day."

I inhaled a huge breath, and I leaned my head on the side of the bed. "I woke up. Domino made breakfast. I danced in the glass house. Then he made me eat breakfast with him. I went back to dancing after. He made lunch, we ate, and I helped him clean the huge room on the west side of the castle that he wanted to turn into a gym."

"Oooh. I like it. Castle. We have a farmhouse, a beach house, and a castle." She raised an eyebrow as if to urge me on. "And then?"

"After that, he taught me how to cook. We both wore the apron Trace sent." Napangiti ako nang maalala ko na naman ang kulay asul na apron. "Nagkamali ata ang binilan ni Trace dahil parehas na pambabae ang pinadala nila."

"Dapat ako ang pinabili niyo. Hindi marunong tumingin ng reviews si Trace."

Natatawang tumango ako bago ako nagpatuloy, "Then he annoyed me because of a colander."

Ikinuwento ko sa kaniya ang nangyari sa kusina. We were both giggling like teenagers when I was done.

"He called me baby."

"Wow! You have two now."

"Three. He calls me Millie Mouse, doll, and baby."

Lucienne made a small shriek that made me giggle again. She's a great listener, mainly because she gives great reactions. "I asked him about it. I acknowledge that he likes me, but I asked him if he does the same thing with his other clients. He told me that he doesn't."

"Of course he doesn't. He might have gone out with a number of people before, but I never saw him try anything with a client."

That felt good to hear.

I told her the rest of what happened in the kitchen, and by the end of it, Lucienne was fanning her now red face.

"Wow."

I nodded in understanding. Domino can deliver a bomb in just one sentence. He's that good. "That's not the end of it."

I gave her the recap when we were watching the game. She snickered when I reached the part about me telling Domino that I find Gun handsome.

"He's jealous."

"You think?"

"He's a Dawson. Kahit siguro isda pagseselosan niya kung sasabihin mo na my crush ka sa isda." She grinned when I chuckled at her choice of words. "Tapos?"

"He made me sit on his lap."

Her eyes widened, and her jaw dropped. Her lips moved, but there's no sound that came out.

Namumula ang mukha na nagpatuloy ako, "He told me when I had that mini freak out about the pizza that he'd make me sit on his lap if I found it hard to eat with him. So... he did." Tumingin ako sa kisame at napabuntong-hininga ako. "I told him I like him, but I also told him that I don't know how this would work. And in the end..."

I didn't say anything more. I replayed what happened again and again. When seconds become minutes, Lucienne, who was waiting for me, finally spoke up. "Tiara?"

"I think... "

"What if I take everything? Can you live with that?"

"I think I just became fuck buddies with Domino. Or something like that."

The silence that echoed in the room was ironically loud. I braved against my embarrassment, and I looked at the screen of my phone, and I saw Lucienne staring blankly at me. Kung hindi nga lang gumagalaw ang mga tao sa screen ng TV sa likod niya ay iisipin kong nag-hang siya.

"You... what?!"

"The kiss was great, Lucienne. But the tension between us? It was better than the kiss. And I don't know. I don't want to think of anything else. We agreed not to think about the future. But for the first time in my life, I wanted something as much as I like ballet. Maybe even more. I want it. I want his touch, and I want to stop denying how much I do. I want it not to end there. I want what follows. I want what's hiding behind his eyes. I want him uncontrolled. I want everything. But I can only have now."

"Why? Bakit ngayon lang ang meron ka?"

"I don't know," I whispered truthfully.

She didn't say anything for a moment. She just looked at me as if she were trying to find the right word to say.

"I'm sorry." Pilit na ngumiti ako. "He's your family. You probably wouldn't want a person like me for him. Someone who can't give him the future."

Pinaikot ni Lucienne ang mga mata niya. "Tiara, no one knows the future. We might want to spend our future with someone, we might want to promise it to them, but there's no assurance in life. Even if you're married and have a family, you can't know what will happen tomorrow." Her face went soft. "The future is important, but not as much as the now. Your present."

"But I'm—"

"You're both grown ups. Alam niyo kung anong ginagawa niyo. Or maybe you don't. Who cares? You're old enough to come up with something one day. You two as fuck buddies? So be it. We won't like you any less because of it. Why would we? You're a great person, and he wants you." Lucienne pursed her lips slightly, and there's an expression on her face as if she were in deep thought. "Did he agree? On just having something temporary?"

I bit my lower lip. There were a lot of things that happened today, but I guess this is the part that's been keeping me up.

"No. Not really."

Kumunot ang noo niya. "What do you mean?"

"He agreed, but not in a way that I wanted him to agree. I told him that we will only have whatever this is until everything is done with my case. Until I can walk freely out of this place."

"And he said yes to it?"

"Only because he said by that time he's sure that I wouldn't want to... or even if I did, I would come back on my own."

For a moment, she only stared at me through the screens of our phones. But slowly, her lips curved. Then a small smile became right out grinning.

"What?"

"Nothing. It's just that... you're in trouble."

"What kind of trouble?"

"The Dawson kind."

I let out a shaky breath. Ipinatong ko sa isang tabi ang phone at sinubsob ko ang mukha ko sa gilid ng kama. I heard Lucienne let out a tinkering laugh.

"It's going to be okay."

"I want to believe that but I'm really freaking out," I mumbled.

"Look at me." Nilingon ko siya at nagniningning ang mga matang ipinatong niya ang baba niya sa kamay niya. "Don't think about anything else. Don't think about finding answers. Don't stress about anything. Feel what you want to feel. You said you can't give him the future, so stop thinking about the future."

"But—"

"I don't exactly know what you feel. I'm not sure if the other women would. Iba naman kaming tao at iba ang naging sitwasyon namin. You want to fight this? You're positive that you want to walk away after the case is over, but he said you wouldn't want to? Then prove him wrong. Think about this like some kind of a dream. That this is a different world, and you're inside a bubble. It would burst, but not yet. So while you still have it, you pretend."

"You want me to fake it?"

"No. I want you to pretend that there's no timeline. Huwag mo munang isipin iyong dulo hanggang hindi pa kailangan. Just be happy. Enjoy your time with him. Enjoy the present and let yourself be free. Get to know him, and let him get to know you. Be his friend. There's no rule out there saying that you can't be friends with your fuck buddy." There was something in her smile that reminded me of Domino's. One that tells me that there's a meaning behind it. That she's plotting something. "This doesn't need to end badly. When that day comes, you can end it as friends who shared something really special. It's not like he can stop you from leaving if that's what you really want."

She's scaring me a little, but what she's saying makes sense. This is what I want. I want him. I want the whole of the glimpses he's been showing me. And she's also right that he can't stop me. Even if Domino wants a different thing it's not like he can force me to stay when all of this concludes.

Prove him wrong.

"I don't know how to face him tomorrow," I admitted in a quiet voice. "I don't know how to start... whatever this is."

"That's easy. Tomorrow, do as you always do. Let him cook breakfast while you go to the glass house to dance."

"That's it?"

"And then, when it's time to eat, kiss him and thank him for breakfast. That's how you can start the day differently."